Childcare 101
by TheRoseandtheDagger
Summary: They had no experience and showed their fear, not something Shinobi were supposed to do. Just a little fun.


_I have no rights to Naruto._

_Enjoy._

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Horrified Team Seven looked on.

"You do." Naruto gulped.

"Me. Why me!" Sakura snapped.

"You're the girl."

"Hnn."

"And what, that doesn't mean I have any experience with . . with . .that." Sakura trailed off, breathing out hard as she tried to calm her stomach, a fate shared by her teammates. It was disgusting. How was it even possible.

"You do it dobe." Sasuke nodded with gritted teeth.

Naruto backed up, hands waving, eyes wide in panic. "No , uhuh, no way, I am not touching it! You do it teme."

"My clan was massacred when I was six, how the hell am I supposed to know what to do."

Stunned at the full and long sentence Sakura and Naruto stared at their teammate, the Uchiha folding his arms in defiance, barely resisting the urge to run, an urge they all had.

"Sakura you do."

Pink hair flying Sakura glared at the two Shinobi. "Just because I'm a girl does not mean I know what to do."

"Yeah teme's right you work in the hospital, you should know what to do.!" Naruto stepped back out of Sakura's reach smiling happily, hiding his gulp of fear as the Kunoichi went red.

"I am a medic-nin, I deal with Ninja, Academy students, Genin, Chunnin, Jounin, ANBU. Emergencies, battle wounds not. . .not that!"

"Enough. How the hell did you become ANBU?" Striding from the doorway of the room Morino Ibiki, sans ANBU gear as befit an undercover mission still managed to look threatening in a pale blue t-shirt and nursery smock. Reaching into the crib that Team Seven wouldn't near he picked up the six month old girl and with a scowl to his three shocked subordinates brought the little girl over to the changing table and began to change her nappy. His deep voice soothing and low as he occupied the child and reprimanded the three at the same time.

"And how are you today Miko?"

"Coo. Uggg. Nooo."

"Yes I know it's hard dealing with idiots isn't it."

"Ahhhh. Noooo. Burrrrrr."

"Mmm three highly trained Shinobi unable to deal with a little girl's dirty nappy. What is the world coming to?"

"This is a stinker, yes it is. Don't put your foot in your mouth. Hmm this could make a good weapon."

"Powder."

Ibiki waited hand out expectantly. Sakura found herself pushed forward, canister thrust into her hands by Sasuke, reaching out with baited breath to hand it over. The sigh of relief that escaped her lips was audible in the room, Ibiki turning his head to look at her with a raised eyebrow then looked at her team.

"Do you none of you have any experience with children. Seriously?" He asked putting a new nappy on Miko.

"I'm the demon; parents ran with kids from me."

"My family was massacred."

"I only deal with Academy students and older."

Changed and gurgling happily Miko smiled as Ibiki lifted her up into his arms. "Is that better Miko?"Soft happy giggles were his answer, the tall man tilting his head as the baby reached up to grab his bandanna. "Ahhahhh."

Shifting her lower on his hip, he turned to look at the three Shinobi dressed as nursery workers. They were undercover trying to stop a child trafficking ring that seemed to originate in this very orphanage, he had already been here three weeks, his back up arriving this morning.. Three Shinobi that had no clue about children under the age of six.

"How the hell did you get put on this mission." With his free hand Ibiki rubbed his jaw, watching as Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto began shuffling before him.

"Punishment."

He rolled his eyes at the blonde's muttered words, jiggling Miko on his hip as she began to fuss. "Gotta make childcare courses mandatory for Genin and above."

With a sigh he looked at the three again and praying he was right gave the child to the shocked Shinobi that looked the most sensible and least likely to drop the baby. "Come on Haruno, you get the hands on experience, you two listen well. Childcare 101 . . . ."

Dumbfounded they followed Ibiki out of the room listening to him in desperation and awe, barely wondering how he knew this and how he got the mission, Sakura holding the child at arm's length , as Naruto and Sasuke studied her intently. All three gulping and cringing at the loud noise and vile smell that erupted from her nappy.

Ibiki turned and smirked. "Your turn."

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_Dia Duit,_

_Just a bit of fun that came to me earlier as I was writing Tell Them, the next chapter is up by the way. Hope you enjoyed it._

_Lots of love, _

_The Rose and the Dagger x x x_


End file.
